*sigh*

I am not in the greatest place right now. I think I am anxious about going to England. And all that I need to do to prepare. I am anxious about school work and completing my dissertation even though that is over year away. I want it to be good and I want to have my choice of jobs, inside academia and out.

I have a problem with time management, I think. This is my last free weekend before leaving for England and before the end of the semester. I need someone to crack the whip over me! I procrastinate and play and clean up and rearrange my closet when I need to be writing for school.

Oh I did get a 92 on my stats test, so that's good.

I didn't get an year-long fellowship in Atlanta. Oh well. I didn't need to move again anyway even though it's only 2 hours away.

I think I'm depressed about being single. It's not so much the "why don't I have a man" syndrome. It's more the lonely syndrome. I wish I had someone to talk to when I got home or someone who cared about my day who wasn't a blood relative. Yes I have friends, but guess what, they have lives and kids and significant others. If I had a man, part of his job would be to sit and listen to me, right? They want to keep in touch but don't want to here me bitch and moan about my. It's just easier to keep stuff to myself and keep the convos light since we don't get to talk so much anyway. Well, Angie lets me bitch and moan, but that's because our lives are most similar. My SAHM friends and my working mom friends don't have time to listen to me go on and on about school while their little one is crying in the background. Okay, that's an assumption.

My own mom doesn't really have time visit and talk to me because she is so busy with other stuff and keeping up with my grandparents. Mom has gotten way cool over the years, though. She likes hanging out with me and I like hanging out with her, especially without my sister-in-law. I swear sometime I think that chick be trying to steal my momma! She already took my brother, dang. They be going shopping together and stuff-without me. Booo!