Wedding Ish

• Why is that when friends get married, they act like you frickin owe them something!!

• If I do a shower and/or bachelorette party for you, its because I want to. If you ask or drop tactless hints, it takes all the fun away and makes me resentful. Don't be difficult. I'm already spending enough money on this wedding! (And there aren't even any cute and/or available groomsmen!)

• This wedding is going to be so crazy, I know it will pretty much test our friendship. Don't take that phrase too seriously because me and my friends use "testing the friendship" all the time.

• There were no reply cards in the invitation, so how the heck is she supposed to know exactly how many people are coming?

• Instead of setting aside a block of rooms at a hotel, she, the bride, is asking us where we, the bridal party, are staying...like I'm a dang travel agent or something. I've never even been to your home state, much less the town!

• The bride is not renting a car, so the maid of honor asked me would I mind driving her car while we run prewedding errands and she borrowed her sister's car. We'll probably be driving back and forth to the wedding, too. The bride said money was no object, but that was before she realized how much stuff costs. So, she's hinted we will not be riding in a limo. I don't care. I'm on bridesmaid auto pilot.

• Between the dress and the plane ticket, oh and the shoes this wedding is breaking me. I swear if I have to pay to get my make up done, it won't get done. If she wants my face made up, she needs to pay for it. I am naturally cute. I don't wear make up. Nothing against it, just don't want to bother with it. I'm already paying the hairdresser of her choice to do my hair in a style I don't want.

• She hasn't said anything about jewelry, so that better not be something I'll end up having to pay for. That should be my dang gift.

• When we initially discussed her wedding plans, the bride said money was no object. She's a doctor and her fiance is a dentist. Whoopdee effin doo! So that means you're rich, right? You know I really did not want to here her say "money is no object." You aint paying for my dress or plane ticket so apparently it is. Interestingly enough, I'm the only member of the bridal party that she said this to... I have no clue why.

• Oh and I'm scheduled to leave the country, take a stats exam and do a class presentation on the U.nited Neg.ro Colle.ge Fun.d (they supposedly dropped the word Negro) in the week between the wedding and when I'm supposed to leave for England.

Calgon take me away.....