Adventures in Speed Dating circa 2005

I met this guy at a singles' event back in April of 05'. Let's just call it speed dating. It was a little more involved than that, though.
We hit it off and ended up hanging out throughout the summer. I liked him, he was good company, and he was attractive enough but I wasn't blown away, headoverheels, on the phone till 3am with him. He's a year younger than me, and I kind of got the feeling he wasn't used to dealing with females on a sort of romantic level but I guess it was just a stiffness that was part of his personality. Still he was a good guy and I thought he could be the one somewhere down the line. We were just kickin it. I hadn't met his friends, he hadn't met mine. I met his family, really coincidentally.

• Now let me just say that I want to get married, so I don't keep random males around just taking up space. Yes, I have male friends, but I'm not spending lots of face and phone time with a guy who for what ever reason I KNOW is not Mr. Right.

So, at this point, this guy had not eliminated himself, and I had not eliminated him, either. We had some good times, though, and we talked about the future a little. He told me he wanted to get married when he was done with law school-he had one more year at the time. I didn't think he meant married to me, it was just a discussion.

So at the end of the summer, he was headed back to the town where he was in school. I was kinda wondering where things were headed with us. It had been 4 months and he hadn't gotten on my nerves or just shown his arse so I was starting to think that I could warm up to him.
Well, one week he mentioned that I should come visit him where he was in school. So I took that as a sign that he wanted to keep seeing each other etc.

Then like the next week he was in his frat brother's wedding. It was a very large, elaborate wedding. So they next day we are talking.....
Me: So was it a nice wedding?
Guy: yeah
Me: So you had fun, huh?
Guy: yeah
Me: So are you ready for school to start back?
Guy:yeah...hey I don't really think I'm ready for anything serious....I mean between you and me.
Me: uh...okay, cool.

Yeah, I played it cool. Scratched my head a little, though. It was a little abrupt and out of the blue. So I stopped calling and we began communicating by e-mail. He asked why we stopped talking on the phone and I told him I was busy and he was too. But, really y'all know I wasn't trying to talk to him like that. He said he wasn't ready for anything serious so to me that meant that the level of communication, whatever it was, needed to decrease. So, since I knew from my early 20's that I had the tendency to be a bugaboo, I took his number out of my phone.

• My friends always laugh when I do that with guys, but I do it with females too, no need to keep your number in my phone if I don't need/want to call you. What, do you get cool points for keeping a gazillion numbers in your phone?

A few months went by and he called (I'm pretty sure it was his number) but didn't leave a message but we still kept tabs on each other through IM. So he knew when I moved to DC. At every opportunity, he'd ask when I was coming back to GA. I was never an Atlanta-groupie like that so I just told him I had no plans to, but I did want to be closer to my family. Then one time he asked what I was doing and I told him cooking and he asked why I never cooked for him. I ignored him.

• There are only 2 men I have exclusively cooked for. I like to cook and cooking for myself is one thing but cooking for a dude.....we gotta be more than just kickin it. That's just me...you gotta be worth the time to shop and menu plan and all that stuff.

Fast forward to now. Other flames have come and gone. There is another singles' event this weekend. (yes, I'm still going to these things.) I e-mailed him asking his thoughts on the E.ve Carso.n murder case because he's an assistant DA in the town that she's from. He asked if I knew about the singles' event. I responded that I knew about and would be there hunting for my baby daddy before my eggs turn to dust. He said he would be there as well. (after he told me three years ago that he would never, ever go to an event like that again.) He had the never to suggest that I "look out for him" and he'll look out for me. HUH?

I told him that I didn't need him to look out for me, that my fabulosity spoke for himself, but I'd be glad to make a list of prospects for him since I knew some girlfriends who were going and I knew he wasn't crazy.

Gee I hope I haven't burned a bridge or something. I mean if he wanted to like pick up where we left off or something I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I can't be holding his hand and I'm sure there is some other guy who can light my pilot light as my mother would say (and we didn't even have a gas stove.) Dude, I ain't checkin for you, do your thing, look for Mrs. Right because Imma be lookin for the Mister.

Shopping for the S shape

According to www.myshape.com, I'm an S shape, curvy and according to TBF, I'm an hourglass, I get it.

Clothes shopping is always a work in progress, which I guess it is for anyone who is not 5'6, size 6, 34B bra..perfectly average.

Since my waist is 12 inches smaller than my hips, shopping for clothes is not the easiest. You know the drill, if they fit in the hips, they are too big in the waist. Many of my pants are just too big in the waist and I just wear the right shirt hide it. Alterations are expensive, so I usually only get stuff hemmed. I like my clothes loose...not too big, but loose.

I'm anti-belt since I think I was brainwashed to believe thick, chunky, plus-sized or whatever you wanna call it women didn't need belts because belts were for people who were too skinny to keep their pants up. I do own 2 belts, both purchased this year. They do kinda hold the pants up, but they are uncomfortable to me.

I have learned to not even think about shopping for bottoms the week before my period. I am too bloated to properly judge the fit. I think I bought my favorite pair a jeans during PMS. They are so cute if only they would stay up. I got them from old navy. Now, I know they are cheap enough be inconsistent in size. I could feel these jeans just sliding down my butt. Even with a long jacket on, I was scared of tripping myself like one of those boys with their pants sagging too low. Even with a belt, they look like a paper bag around the waist. So I was on Old Navy's website and apparently, the jeans I bought are a size too large for my measurements. So I buy the smaller size, a 14. They feel too tight to me. So the 16 is too big and the 14 is too tight. Hmmm I'll go for losing more weight and moving down to an even smaller size.

It helps to know my measurements, especially when shopping online. I was watching this show, Bulging Brides. They help brides whose dresses are too tight lose weight before their big days. This chick had a 31 inch waist and she wore a size 10. I have a 31 inch waist and I ...don't wear a 10. So I need to switch butts with her. She can keep her chest, she was like an A cup anyway. Why can't people be happy with what they have! She was able to drop 2 inches in her waist in 6 weeks with diet and exercise.

While You're Eating.....

• Are you on the computer?
• On the phone?
• Watching TV?
• Driving? (yikes)
• Standing at the kitchen counter?

I am guilty of all of these. Are you?

I'm trying to make myself eat only at the kitchen table. I think the food tastes better. I once consumed a meal while on the phone and I swear I couldn't even remember what it tasted like. so that killed that, no more meals while I'm on the phone.

Same thing with the computer. I don't even want to know what that crud is between M and the space bar. And I believe I eat more while watching tv because I look down during the commercial like dang its gone lemme get up and get some more before it comes back on.

Now when I've waited too long to eat and I'm waiting for some food to warm up, I'll stand at the counter and eat something. It could be an apple, but usually its some nachos or some nuts. DING oh its ready...dang its not warm enough, needs 30 more seconds and in that 30 seconds I consume another handful of nuts. I read on the Frugal Duchess's site that you eat more while standing up...you know just popping this and that in your mouth.

I am notorious for eating while driving. The ketchup on my steering wheel, the stains on my clothes and the crumbs on the floor are proof. I got it honestly. I have seen my mom put butter, sour cream, salt, and pepper on a Wendy's baked potato while manuevering down a hill on a major thoroughfare. Talk about hold on...you betta hold on and hope none gets on you. Since I've tried to cut back on this, its added time to my road trips, but I think my digestion is better for it.

If I try to eat only at the table, I think it will help me cut down on my caloric intake. Thus enabling me to buy smaller clothes. Which is the whole entire point.

ATM Fees

I bank with a credit union that I like. One problem, though, is that free ATMs are not convenient. So often what I will do is buy a pack of gum and get cash back. Well, I was driving to Columbia and needed cash for the tolls. I whipped over into Bi-lo.

The rule is that I have to buy something that will cost less than the 2-3 buck ATM fee. But I didn't want to buy any gum because I had new pack in the car. I did need some dental floss though, so I got that. Then I got a 4 pack of cadbury eggs, the original ones, that are only available this time of year. So my purchase came more than 3 bucks when means I could have just gone to an ATM anyway.

The worst part is that I ate 2 of the eggs in the car.

This is one reason why I don't want to go to cash only spending because I'd be forced to use ATMs more.

Back in Effect

I haven't written in a while, almost 8 weeks because I see my last post was about my last touch up.

For my birthday, I saw Jill Scott and went to red lobster with my fam. Now, red lobster is not what it was when I was 13, but I was just glad to be with the fam. My nephew behaved. I distracted him by talking to the "Nemos" in the fish tank. One of the fish did look like Nemo.

I've been soooo busy with school and preparing to go to England.

I've committed myself to just doing my own relaxers, with motions being my product of choice. I can't wait until that do it yourself relaxer instructional technique comes out. I'm sure it'll help me perfect my technique. I would like to have my hair natural again but I think I want to grow it brastrap length first. And I want it to be when I can afford to have it cornrowed or twisted or pressed on demand. Yeah, I'd wear it natural in the summer and straightened in the winter. I can not cornrow. Nor can I straigten my hair "manually." But then again, I've never used a flat iron or a pressing comb. I don't really believe my hair can be straightened w/o chemicals. I'd like to see someone try, ha ha.

I'm in a wedding in April. We are all supposed to get hair done in a local (near Gary, Indiana) salon. I think we are getting updos. I'm not an updo chic. I like a bun, that's it. I never liked french rolls back in the day (like en vogue, y'all remember) because mine never stayed up right. My mom tried to do one for me and I looked like the blond guy from ghost busters...what was his name? Long story short, I hope my hair doesn't come out looking too um ghetto or uh hard. I want a style I can comb out, not one I have to wash out. In fact, I think we should be responsible for our own hair if the bride isn't paying for it. We'll see. I'm pretty sure I'll be paying for it, though. At least I'll just need a wash, no relaxer.