Bridesmaids at the Ponderosa

Maid of Honor: I planned the bachelorette activity so the Matron of Honor is doing lunch
Me: Okay cool, I like to eat and I especially love it when time is carved out just for eating.
Maid of Honor: So, the bride is going on about how its just important for us to spend time together and she has friends from different backgrounds, yada yada. So this let me know about the kinds of things the Matron of Honor might choose.

(I have never met the Matron of Honor, but she either doesn't drive or just doesn't have a car in small town Indiana.)

Me: So where are we eating
Maid of Honor: Don't say anything...
Me: Just tell me where we are eating, dang you act like I eat caviar for breakfast or something!
Maid of Honor: Matron of Honor chose 3 places:

• Chinese Buffet
• Ponderosa Steakhouse
• Golden Corral

So the bride chose the Ponderosa, I would have chosen the Chinese Buffet, but it aint my wedding.

Wouldn't be my choices for a bridesmaid luncheon but I'm sure we will have fun.

Bunking W/ Married Folk..How about NO!

When I go to England, I'm staying with host family. My classmate and I are staying with the same family. We don't know for sure, but we think we will be sharing a bathroom, which is okay with me for the most part.

Classmate's husband is coming for the last half of the trip. He will probably be staying in the house with us, and I'll probably be sharing a bathroom with him which is not preferable but I can deal with it I guess. He is also driving us to the airport.

When Classmate and I purchased our plane tickets, BA had a special where you got one free night in a London hotel. So between the two of us, we have two nights in a hotel. The plan was for us to spend the last two nights in London seeing the sites before we return to the States. We are spending the month in Sheffield.

I knew Classmate's husband was probably coming, but I wasn't sure when. Well, it turns out he'll be returning to the States with us, on the same flight. This is convenient because he will park at the airport and drives us back to SC. It is inconvenient because he will be with us the last weekend in London.

Classmate mentioned that in European hotels, two beds usually means two twin beds, not two double beds like in the States. So I said okay, we definitely have two beds.......

Classmate: What about my Husband, where do we put him.....I guess it would be awkward if we stayed in the room together.
Me: Uh yeah, I don't want to stay in the room with him!
*******awkward 2 second silence***********
Me: well, I'll figure something out, maybe I can come back earlier.
Classmate just nods and smiles and we change the subject.

Sidenote: In NYC, she mentioned that her and hubby thinks its okay for the other spouse to share a hotel room with the opposite sex as long as they get permission from the other first. I thought that was odd, but I didn't comment because what works for them, works for them. I don't think she was hinting about our trip to England. Her and her hubby are at a conference this weekend where they are sharing a room with one of his coworkers-I don't know what gender. I THINK THAT IS ODD!!!

We decided against staying in a hostel while visiting sites UK. We had talked about visiting Paris and staying overnight but my wallet is saying otherwise. In fact it is saying day trips only! However, she found a hostel in Edinborough (sp?) where we (her, me, her hubby, and my friend Joy) would stay in a room with just us and would have our own bathroom.

• I never said I wanted to go to Edinborough and I didn't even know it was in Scotland!
• I don't want to sleep in the same room with her husband, even though we will each have twin bunks
• I'm not subjecting my friend to sleeping in the room with her husband either!
• No hostels! I'm cheap but not that cheap! damn, damn, damn!

So let me break this down for you...This chick doesn't see anything wrong with her and her husband sharing a room with someone else. Again, I think that is odd, way way odd. Sleeping quarters should be single sexed unless you are married (or in a relationship for you progressive folk:) or blood relatives and even then that can get weird. Now, I am Muslim and even though I some might consider me to be more liberal or progressive, but separation of the sexes is real and I ain't about to share no hotel room with this chick and her husband!! She's catholic and I thought she was a little conservative herself, but I guess I was wrong.

I stayed in a coed, by floor, dorm in college. I'm not a prude...I'm wordly...but I aint sharing a room with a married couple. It's just not necessary.

Now I can think of about few male friends and their wives (or female friends and their husbands) I would share a room with if circumstances required it in some kind of way. But these are men I go way back like the runnin man and now and laters with (do they still make that candy?)

So I think what I will do is just stay in Sheffield longer, stay in my hotel room for one night and fly back with them. They can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't include splitting a room with me.

Angie says only White people do stuff like this. I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to say it out loud. Classmate is biracial Asian and White and her husband is White. I know I'm being small-minded but damn! Who does that? Bunkin up like its a dang commune or something

My Name Is.....

When I started this blog, I decided to remain anonymous because I was discussing financial information.

I don't do that so much anymore, but I think I'd still like to be anonymous.

Why? The usual reasons. I think I might do another blog that is not anonymous, though.

So everythingiseverything was supposed to be the name of the blog, but not my blogger name.

Well I think everythingiseverything was supposed to be my blogger name but its too long and cumbersome.

I chose everything is everything because of the Lauryn Hill song by the same name. I love the line Everything is everything, what is meant to be will be, after winter must come spring, changes come eventually. Okay, those lyrics might not be correct, but you know the song.

I didn't pick a blogger name because I just wasn't thinking of one. All of my screen names easily identify me, I think.

So, I've picked a name...drum roll please......MISS MAJESTIC

My last name means majestic in another language.

The Missing Holy Book

Okay, I went to NYC a few weeks ago for a school related conference. I spent one night at a fabulous Marriot in Times Square. I could see the Lion King sign from my window. The other nights I bunked with a classmate from the Home by the Sea, Keisha. I have seen this girl maybe 2 times since we graduated 7 years ago. Still she offered to put me up. And a great host she was. We were going to the same conference and we are both working on our doctorates in Education. Anyway, back to the point of this post.

I brought my little mini Quran with me. This is the one I usually read, not the big I've had since I was 8 because that one has tissue paper thin pages that I'm scared I'll rip.

I knew I had it while I was there, even though I didn't actually pull it out to read.

Well when I got home and unpacked I couldn't find it. ANYWHERE! I went through all my luggage.

So I figured that TSA had gone through my luggage (I had checked both bags) and decided to toss my Quran in some type of protest against Islamic terrorists. Yes, I had concocted this whole conspiracy theory about why my Quran was missing.

I had myself all worked up over this, envisioning them flipping through my Quran and tossing it in the trash. I knew I hadn't left it in NYC because Keisha would have called me.

I even started calling friends and they egged me on telling me yeah that's what probably happened, Nikki even said she was missing a tennis bracelet she thinks was stolen from her luggage.

So I'm talking to her mom telling her how its missing and how I know they stole it to spite me as a Muslim blah blah blah and she says: "You had a little Quran?"
Me: yeah! The little one I like to read.
Ma: It had a wooden bookmark in it.
Me: yeah! you seen me with it
Ma: It's here on the shelf, I'm looking at it now

Sorry, TSA for accusing you of stealing it. See I flew in to Charlotte from New York and hung out there before heading back to SC. And the family never really bother to tell me when I've left something unless I ask (or accuse TSA of stealing it.)

My issues with England

This is one reason why I'm not excited about England. It's Eurocentric. Yes its another country, but how different is it really from the U.S.? Many of our cultural nuances come from the U.K. I think Americans have more in common with the British than we do with the Japanese or even Italians.

Now this is me pulling the race card but I am a sociologist and we think about race. I'm not all excited about see the sites and the castles and everything because its all so ...WHITE...SO EUROCENTRIC. There I said it. And in that its not sooo different from what I've seen.

Not that I don't want to see England just because its something different and interesting to see. I do. I don't want to seem like a small-minded Black person. But this is how I feel.

Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon about visiting another country. (oh and we are going to Paris, too!!!!) I guess I really wish I was visiting Africa.

Hey, beggars can't be choosy!

random funnies

I was flipping channels at Grandma's and the movie Drumline was on. She kept asking me what game it was. I kept telling her it was a movie. She kept asking me when halftime would be over. She asked me who A&T was playing (she's thinking NC A&T) I had told her it was a movie. She finally believed me when she saw Jay Anthony Brown.

Generic Backlash

Y'all know I'm cheap and I like to buy generic products to save money. Secretly, I'm addicted to CVS and their extracare bucks and coupons. I get excited when I need to go there for something. And don't let it be a coupon for 2 dollars of 10$ worth of CVS brand products. Jackpot!! I even bought some generic Claritin today.

So because St. Ives discountinued their moisturizer (well I can't find it anymore so I guess that's what happened.), I bought the CVS generic brand of ponds moisturizer. It was like 3 bucks cheaper than ponds. I love it, almost more than the St. Ives.

Well I was out of it and went to CVS to fetch more. They were having a sale on the ponds brand. So I bought a 10oz jar for just a little more than the CVS 8oz.

Well let me tell ya, there is big difference in between the generic and the name brand. The name brand is thicker and more fragrant. It's almost too thick. I could stand for it to be less fragrant, though. But I don't know if my face can go back to the generic after this. My skin is dry so moisturizer is important.

I'm also going to abandon my cheap detergent brand XTRA. You know its the brand that's like 2.50 for a like a big huge jug. This got my plenty of jokes over the years. Let's put it this way, I never had to worry about anyone stealing my detergent from a laundry room. I stayed the night with a friend and used her Tide detergent. I could tell the difference. Now I'm not buying Tide unless its on sale but I will be buying something better than XTRA. My clothes deserve better.

In Retrospect

I wonder if I should have gone to that other HU for my doctorate. I was admitted and enrolled when I got word from down here about my fellowship. So I left the DMV. Because I didn't want to live off of loans the first year and bank on getting an assistantship the following years, and assistantship that would barely cover rent.

I really did want a doctorate in Sociology more than one in Education. But I didn't want to live off of loans.

So now I'm still borrowing but my livelihood isn't dependent on loans and a part-time job at the panty plantation like it would have been in DC.

Did you know how expensive DC is? Esp for a person from the south?

But I really like this school. And I'm finding out my classmates borrowed to pay off car loans and to just keep themselves situated.

I give up!

On keeping up with my money. Between school and financing this trip to England, I really just don't care to keep up with my CC debt or the SL I took out to help pay for England and that I'll use pay off my CC. At least I have it all on one card.

I still manage to save a few pennies and I opened a way 2 save account with Wachovia. It's an answer to Bank of America's keep the change. Except it socks away a dollar for every transaction. I think I fell for the marketing hype. I originally opened it to hold the money for England but you can only make deposits from the dollar for every transaction.

Speaking of England, I'm trying not to worry about the exchange rate. I'm really worried about the fees for using a CC.

I've given up on trying to live beneath my stipend. I'm still paying on my CC and saving so I should get to overspend.

I get another $300 from SC and I get my rebate, too. yay.

I still think I can be debt free by 35 even though my SLs are approaching 50K. SLs might be good debt but its still debt and that interest is costing me money! And my car will hit 200K this year. So, I'll need a new one. I'll have to be creative, though. Maybe even get a job and in Charlotte and move back home. My parents aren't there during the week. They will let their first born live there for free. They love me, I'm a good daughter. A broke one, but a good one. Another reason for me to get married, yay for a 2 income household.

*sigh*

I am not in the greatest place right now. I think I am anxious about going to England. And all that I need to do to prepare. I am anxious about school work and completing my dissertation even though that is over year away. I want it to be good and I want to have my choice of jobs, inside academia and out.

I have a problem with time management, I think. This is my last free weekend before leaving for England and before the end of the semester. I need someone to crack the whip over me! I procrastinate and play and clean up and rearrange my closet when I need to be writing for school.

Oh I did get a 92 on my stats test, so that's good.

I didn't get an year-long fellowship in Atlanta. Oh well. I didn't need to move again anyway even though it's only 2 hours away.

I think I'm depressed about being single. It's not so much the "why don't I have a man" syndrome. It's more the lonely syndrome. I wish I had someone to talk to when I got home or someone who cared about my day who wasn't a blood relative. Yes I have friends, but guess what, they have lives and kids and significant others. If I had a man, part of his job would be to sit and listen to me, right? They want to keep in touch but don't want to here me bitch and moan about my. It's just easier to keep stuff to myself and keep the convos light since we don't get to talk so much anyway. Well, Angie lets me bitch and moan, but that's because our lives are most similar. My SAHM friends and my working mom friends don't have time to listen to me go on and on about school while their little one is crying in the background. Okay, that's an assumption.

My own mom doesn't really have time visit and talk to me because she is so busy with other stuff and keeping up with my grandparents. Mom has gotten way cool over the years, though. She likes hanging out with me and I like hanging out with her, especially without my sister-in-law. I swear sometime I think that chick be trying to steal my momma! She already took my brother, dang. They be going shopping together and stuff-without me. Booo!

Proxy votes?

Does anyone know what these are? I get them Mutual of America where my miniscule IRA is. I don't understand it. It seems like they want me to vote on something but in the past I've always just dumped it in the trash because I didn't understand what or who I was voting for or why. Can someone explain this to me in layman's terms?

I guess I could just call them. (yeah right.)

Wedding Ish

• Why is that when friends get married, they act like you frickin owe them something!!

• If I do a shower and/or bachelorette party for you, its because I want to. If you ask or drop tactless hints, it takes all the fun away and makes me resentful. Don't be difficult. I'm already spending enough money on this wedding! (And there aren't even any cute and/or available groomsmen!)

• This wedding is going to be so crazy, I know it will pretty much test our friendship. Don't take that phrase too seriously because me and my friends use "testing the friendship" all the time.

• There were no reply cards in the invitation, so how the heck is she supposed to know exactly how many people are coming?

• Instead of setting aside a block of rooms at a hotel, she, the bride, is asking us where we, the bridal party, are staying...like I'm a dang travel agent or something. I've never even been to your home state, much less the town!

• The bride is not renting a car, so the maid of honor asked me would I mind driving her car while we run prewedding errands and she borrowed her sister's car. We'll probably be driving back and forth to the wedding, too. The bride said money was no object, but that was before she realized how much stuff costs. So, she's hinted we will not be riding in a limo. I don't care. I'm on bridesmaid auto pilot.

• Between the dress and the plane ticket, oh and the shoes this wedding is breaking me. I swear if I have to pay to get my make up done, it won't get done. If she wants my face made up, she needs to pay for it. I am naturally cute. I don't wear make up. Nothing against it, just don't want to bother with it. I'm already paying the hairdresser of her choice to do my hair in a style I don't want.

• She hasn't said anything about jewelry, so that better not be something I'll end up having to pay for. That should be my dang gift.

• When we initially discussed her wedding plans, the bride said money was no object. She's a doctor and her fiance is a dentist. Whoopdee effin doo! So that means you're rich, right? You know I really did not want to here her say "money is no object." You aint paying for my dress or plane ticket so apparently it is. Interestingly enough, I'm the only member of the bridal party that she said this to... I have no clue why.

• Oh and I'm scheduled to leave the country, take a stats exam and do a class presentation on the U.nited Neg.ro Colle.ge Fun.d (they supposedly dropped the word Negro) in the week between the wedding and when I'm supposed to leave for England.

Calgon take me away.....

School

I am so behind with my school work. I really don't see a break for myself until August. But then it really won't slow down because if I everythings goes right I'll be defending my dissertation in December 2009. So the working is only going to increase.

The Game

Why are they making Derwin out to be all holy when last season he cheated on his girl friend? I still want him and Melanie back together.

Well, I think its over for Jason and Kelly. How do you come back from telling someone you married them for their money? And if you're with someone who is wealthy or much more well off then you, how do you really distinguish weather or not your are marrying them for their money, especially if you didn't know them when (or if) they were ever broke?